Blog | frasergo.orghttps://www.frasergo.org/blog/2014-08-05T04:02:34+00:00BlogTribute to my father2014-08-05T04:02:34+00:00david/blog/author/david/https://www.frasergo.org/blog/2014/08/tribute-to-my-father/<p><em>Tribute to <a href="https://www.facebook.com/duncan.m.fraser">Duncan McKenzie Fraser</a> that I shared at his funeral along with those by my siblings, by mother, his friend Prof Eric Bateman and colleague Prof Jenni Case</em></p>
<p><strong><span>Gridlines<br></span></strong><span>I didn't often ask my dad for </span><span>advice</span><span> when I was younger, but had asked him about some significant decisions just before his stroke. I'll miss being able to do that. Growing up, my dad and mom were the relational </span><span>gridlines</span><span> that measured the world for me. It feels like all the horizontal lines have been suddenly pulled out and the vertical ones wobbled. I'm so proud of how my </span><span>mom</span><span> has reacted with faith and dignity in her unimaginable loss.</span></p>
<p><span><strong>Mountains and perspective</strong><br><a href="http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:M%C3%A4nnlichen.jpg"><img src="/static/media/uploads/galleries/family/800px-männlichen.jpg" alt="The Eiger, Mönch and Jungfrau, view from Männlichen" height="275" title="The Eiger (3970m), Mönch (4107m) and Jungfrau (4158m), from left to right - note that the right-most peak is actually the highest..." width="800"></a><br>In Switzerland, when I was six years old, my dad pointed at a </span>mountain<span> and said “that's the tallest”. I objected because some closer mountains looked taller. He took me behind a car, knelt down with me, and showed me how from that angle it looked taller than the microbus behind it. That was my dad – willing to come down low, not just telling but showing us God's </span>perspective<span> on the world – that God is higher even if closer things seem more important. In our family the worship and prayer you've come to today was not a segment of life but permeated everything – I remember my dad's daily devotions in the lounge with his Bible and journal, and us singing and praying together at home as a family, and as we drove on family holidays. Even after his stroke he was writing down Scriptures that were his strength in suffering.</span></p>
<p><span><strong>Books and integrity</strong><br>My parents read to us from C S Lewis and Tolkien from when we were tiny and I grew to love them and then the rest of my dad's books – Christian biographies, theology and philosophy. My dad's faith ran through his whole life – his heart and mind and strength – and was shown in his love and acceptance and care for everyone around him.</span></p>
<p><span><strong>Running, walking and new paths</strong><br><img src="https://farm3.staticflickr.com/2901/14736505902_0d19c327dc_m_d.jpg" style="float: right;" title="My dad finishing a marathon" height="240" width="172" alt="My dad finishing a marathon">My dad was a runner. I started </span>running<span> only in my thirties and he was amazingly supportive – when I ran the <a href="http://www.twooceansmarathon.org.za/events/half-marathon">Two Oceans Half Marathon</a> he would drop me off, then fetch Danielle and James and Charis and find three points along the way to meet and cheer me on. He also loved taking us on walks and especially discovering </span>new paths<span>. This week I tried to go on one of those walks, but the way was closed off. I respect my dad for how he was always openly growing and changing, even right until the end. Like him, we're going to need to keep on growing and finding new paths to walk on.</span></p>
<p><span><strong>Haikus for changing seasons</strong><br>My aunt Lesley composed a beautiful haiku for my dad's sixtieth birthday looking at the </span>seasons<span> of his life</span></p>
<p><i>Summer time is over now<br></i><i>The autumn of your life is here<br></i><i>May harvest be good</i></p>
<p>It's been so hard seeing his life cut off when we still anticipated so much. But God turns all things round for good for those who love him. I'll close with my attempt to follow up with a haiku on the season that has come.</p>
<p><i>Autumn fruits were ripening<br></i><i>When winter's chills so swiftly fell<br></i><em><span>We'll use this fruit for seed</span></em></p>My dad's reached the finish line2014-07-23T07:03:01+00:00david/blog/author/david/https://www.frasergo.org/blog/2014/07/my-dads-race/<div>On Saturday night my dad, <a href="https://www.facebook.com/duncan.m.fraser">Duncan</a>, had a massive cardiac arrest in ICU and died after an intense 12-day battle following a major stroke, subsequent pneumonia and heart issues. The ICU staff tried to resuscitate him but could not.</div>
<div>My dad impacted so many people's lives. I have not yet read any of their tributes to him. For me, <a href="http://books.google.co.za/books?id=aWZzLPhY4o0C&lpg=PP1&dq=%22the%20grief%20is%20still%20too%20near%22%20Tolkien&pg=PA350#v=onepage&q=%22the%20grief%20was%20still%20too%20near%22&f=false" title="Legolas in the Fellowship of the Ring by J R R Tolkien">the grief is still too near</a>.</div>
<div>But one theme stands out to me from his life.</div>
<div>My dad's relationship with God - his trust in Jesus, his walking by the Holy Spirit - is what defined and shaped him. His love and concern for others, his selfless serving of those around him, his devotion to my mom and us children and our families, his decades-long <a href="http://www.academia.edu/7726195/Duncan_Fraser_ChE_educator_feature" title="Duncan Fraser, ChE Educator Feature article by Jenni Case">pioneering work in engineering education</a>, his cross-cultural instincts, his desire to repair the damage in our nation, his love of the beauty of creation, his love of walks and runs - these all flowed both consciously and unconsciously from his Saviour. The narrative of his life, told in many conversations, was about things God had shown him through the Bible in his daily devotions, how the Holy Spirit had touched his heart in worship times. He would write us incredibly vulnerable emails about his emotions, his challenges, areas he was changing in. He was transparently conscious of his weaknesses; he never settled down but kept seeking God and being open to change.</div>
<div><em>But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.</em></div>
<div>Well you're there now dad. You've run a good race, and you've got your prize. It's all God's grace.</div>
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<div><em><a href="https://www.facebook.com/events/666088600151046/" title="Funeral for Duncan Fraser">My Dad's Funeral</a> will be on Saturday 26th of July 2014 at Jubilee Community Church</em></div>
<div><img src="http://www.frasergo.org/static/media/galeria/2014-family/two-oceans-with-dad-james-and-charis-2014-04-19-small2.jpg" alt="My dad and kids meeting me after the Two Oceans, April 2014" height="1032" title="Running the race" width="581"></div>